Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
.
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…

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Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
kahan se aaya?
Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.

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Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola
“Beta tum bahut padhoge”
Ladka : Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
ye bata paas kab hounga???

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New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”

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1 boy on his way 2 home with his mom after school,
saw a couple kissing on the road…
He suddenly shouted and said look mom
they are fighting for CHEWING GUM.

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At bus stop a girl was standing
with her face covered. A man on bike stops
and says “Chalna hai kya?”
Girl replies : Papa mein hoon.

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Raat ke 3 baje santa ke number par phone
aaya – Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?

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Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge

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Husband and Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom : He fought with me again,
I am coming to you.
Mom : No beta, he must pay for his mistake,
I am comming to stay with U!

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Santa found cigarette in daughter’s room “Ohh God! She smokes?”
Then she found wine, “O God! She drinks?” Then he saw boy,
“Thank God@ To ye sab ess boy ka hai”

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Nepali : Saab ye shaam singh ka mobile kaha milega
Salesman : Pata nahi
Nepali : Saab ji TV me ad to isi dukan ka hai.
Salesman : Abey ye sham singh nahi, SAMSUNG hai!!

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Har gum ko pala nai jata,
Kanch ki chizo ko uchala nai jata,
Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaro,
Har baat ko “All is WELL” bolke tala nahi jata!

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Doctor ne udaas hokar kaha- Aapki Biwi ab sirf do dino ki mehman hai.
I’m so sorry…
Santa: Isme sorry ki koi baat hai Dr. Saab.
Nikaal lenge ye do din bhi jaise-taise…
Aage to moaj masti me jeena hai..Jeevan ras peena.. hai

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Umar ki raah mein JAZBAAT badal jate hai,
Waqt ki AAndhi me HALLAT badal jaate hai,
Sochta hoon kaam kar kar ke Record tod dun,
Lekin kambhakt salary dekhte he KHAYAAL badal jaate hai.....latest jobs salary jokes

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Mom: Sofa letne ke liye nahi hota baithne ke liye hota hai
Son: Ha toh Chappal bhi maarne k liye nahi pehen ne ke liye hoti hai..
Ek chappl aur padi..